Self Esteem in Recovery

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addiction dictionary
addiction dictionary
self-esteem
ˌsɛlfɛˈstiːm/
noun
 
confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.
“assertiveness training for those with low self-esteem”
synonyms:
self-respect, self-regard, pride in oneself/one’s abilities, faith in oneself, pride, dignity, morale, self-confidence, confidence, self-assurance, assurance; amour propre
“assertiveness training for those with low self-esteem”

Self Esteem in Recovery

Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blogy, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Self Esteem Blog
Self Esteem Blog

What is Self Esteem

We tend to go through life evaluating ourselves and others according to a scale of worth. The idea of self esteem is the amount of value that we consider we are worth. These values vary from person to person. Whilst we might rate ourselves as being of little value, others might rate us much higher. If we get into the habit of thinking negatively about ourselves, then low self esteem, or placing little value on ourselves, is the result. 
Low self esteem can be a result of negative life experiences, particularly when we’re young and most vulnerable. These experiences may include being criticised or judged negatively, such as from a parent or school bullies. As adults, abusive relationships and very stressful life events can also cause low self esteem.
Low Self Esteem is one of the biggest consequences of addiction, & one of the biggest challenges in recovery.
Low self esteem can stay low, because of our own self-critical thoughts, which can be triggered by criticism, or perceived criticism (even if none is intended, we believe we are being criticised).

How Low Self Esteem affects us

Emotions
-depressed
-hurt
-angry
-frustrated
-anxious
-ashamed
-guilty….
Self Esteem Blog 2
Self Esteem Blog 2
Thoughts
-Negative, self-critical: I’m so stupid, I’m worthless, It’s my fault, I’m a failure, I’m not good enough, I’m incompetent. 
-Unhelpful Thinking Habits (www.getselfhelp.co.uk/unhelpful.htm) might include Mental Filter, Mind Reading, Self Blame, Internal Critic, Compare & Despair, Shoulds and Musts, Black and
White Thinking
Behaviours
-try to please others
-get defensive when we believe we’re being criticised
-under-achieve or work harder to compensate and cover up our incompetence
-shy and passive around others
-avoid situations and people
-neglect or abuse ourselves

Making Changes

Doing things differently
Communicate with others assertively (www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ccount/click.php?id=36)
Set achievable and realistic goals. When you achieve them, congratulate and treat yourself, and allow others to congratulate you
Accept compliments – say thank you, and smile , do more things you enjoy doing
Stand, walk and talk confidently
Change your image – hair, clothes, make-up
Take up a new hobby or interest
Learn a new skill
Reward yourself for achievements and successes – however small
Thank others – show your appreciation, and others will appreciate you
Do things for others – help someone out. It makes us feel better about ourselves
If you can do something well, let others notice – when they notice your work, their opinion of you will be raised, which in turn, raises your own self esteem

Thinking differently

STOPP! Pause, take a breath (www.getselfhelp.co.uk/stopp.htm)
Ask yourself:
What am I reacting to?
What have I been thinking about here?
Is this fact or opinion?
Is that “Internal Critic” operating again?
Am I looking at things through those gloomy specs (“Mental Filter”) again?

Think Positively

We have learned over time to think, feel & behave in a negative manner.
That is only a learned behaviour
Challenge your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, and you will be amazed at how quickly you will begin to feel better.
Always take responsibility for yourself and never put blame on anyone else. Remember they are also on their journey and you can never know what they are thinking

My Next Blog is on Shame

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The articles in “Recovery from Addiction” Series, are the opinion of the author and if you would like to contribute to it, please leave a comment in the comment box below. If you want to subscribe, for free, to any further blogs of mine please leave your email in the blue box below.
 

Recovery is about growth and everyone does grow at a different pace. My advice to anyone in early recovery is to wait at least 2 years before making any major life changing decisions that might have emotional ramifications. An example: get a mortgage, get married, change career, emigrate. In light of this everyone has dreams and we all do want to better our lives in one way or another, so it is important in early recovery to start to put those dreams into reality by creating achievable goals which can be reached in time. I found in my early recovery, although I had dreams, I wasn’t aware of creating goals and my life unfolded by default. It turned out well for me, but had I had clear goals, I do feel that it would have been even better.

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through on line marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7 day video series to watch.

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Relapse Prevention

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dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

Relapse prevention (RP) is a cognitive-behavioral approach to relapse with the goal of identifying and preventing high-risk situations such as substance abuse, obsessive-compulsive behavior, sexual offending, obesity, and depression.[1] It is an important component in the treatment process for alcoholism or alcohol dependence.[2][3](Wikipedia)

Hi, it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Life Not Drugs
Life Not Drugs

Relapse Prevention

LOOK AT WHAT IS RELAPSE & RELAPSE PREVENTION
-Lapse
-Prolapse
-Relapse
-Relapse Prevention
-Relapse Management

LAPSE

-A Brief Slip
-Backslide in Motivation – “loss of interest in recovery, disheartened, complacent”
-One Off Situation, Initially
-Happens at a Subconscious Level on many occasions & is NOT premeditated or planned.

RELAPSE

-A Reinstatement of former unhealthy behaviors: “e.g. Staying in bed all day, poor self-care, isolation”
-A collapse in motivation: “e.g. Not wanting to attend aftercare or meetings”
-Return to active addiction: “e.g. drinking, using or gambling again”
-A Premeditated Process: e.g.” Once the negative signs are noticed and action is taken, a relapse
can be stopped”

Relapse Prevention
Relapse Prevention

 

 

RELAPSE PREVENTION

-A Therapeutic Process for interrupting the Behaviours, Beliefs & Negative Self Talk, that lead to a resumption of prior negative patterns.
-Daily maintenance of a Balanced Lifestyle: “e.g. Regular eating pattern, good daily routine, a balance in work, rest & play”
-Open & Honest Talk.

RELAPSE MANAGEMENT

-The actions used to work against the worsening of a Relapse and/or re-establish sobriety: “e.g. relapse groups, 1-1’s, post-relapse groups(Aftercare)”.
-Accept Relapse as a part of Recovery – A Learning Experience/ NOT a Failure!!: “e.g. If you learn from it & get through it, it will strengthen your self-efficacy”.

RELAPSE CAN HAPPEN AT ANYTIME

-Relapse is part of recovery and most people in recovery will or have had a relapse at least once.
-Although traditionally talking about relapse is frowned upon, it is NOT Taboo.
-It is a part of the recovery process & needs to be talked about without the fear of it happening again by doing so.

 

TURN RELAPSE INTO PRO-LAPSE

-Do NOT beat yourself up or Give up.
-Talk about the risks to you of a possible lapse, when you are craving or thinking about a future lapse, with family, AA, support groups e.t.c.
-If at first, you don’t succeed, Try & Try Again.
-Learn from your mistakes & turn your relapse into a Pro-lapse.

Keep Calm
Keep calm & never give up

AWARENESS

-Every Lapse & Relapse begins with a choice (Thought).
-That choice may be conscious or subconscious.
-Decisions we make NOW, affect what we do next.
-Relapse is a process, Examine It!
-Focus NOT on the cause & effect, but the reason for continuing.
-Every Lapse results in a negative emotional response: (Guilt, Shame e.t.c)
-You can turn it Positive: “I Need To Stop NOW and get Support”
-Or it can stay Negative: “I was stupid to even THINK I could stop in the first place” “This proves that I am useless & can’t do anything right, so I might as well continue…”

 

REFRAMING

-Advance preparation can turn a lapse into a Prolapse.
-By being prepared for the possibility of a lapse and have a “plan of action” as what to do if it happens.
-Although no one consciously wants to relapse, being prepared for the possibility is better than not: “e.g. Fire Drills”

CBT MODEL

-Thoughts, feelings, behaviors, physical sensations & situations, are ALL linked.
-We all have control over our thoughts, thus our awareness.
-If you find you are feeling bad/ sad – Think Happy, Let Go of the bad feeling.
-If you’re aware that you have slipped into old behaviors – Change Them.
-If you have a physical craving- Remind yourself that it will pass.
-If you are in a dangerous situation- Move or get away.

Ambivalence poster
Ambivalence

AMBIVALENCE

-Sitting on the fence.
-Every day we are ambivalent on many decisions we make.
-This includes our Addiction and ongoing recovery.
-It’s very important to: “play the tape until the end”.
-Write up both Pros & Cons of both lapsing or not, NOW & in the future.

My Next Blog is Self Esteem
 

The articles in “Recovery from Addiction” Series, are the opinion of the author and if you would like to contribute to it, please leave a comment in the comment box below. If you want to subscribe, for free, to any further blogs of mine please leave your email in the blue box below.

 

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Recovery is about growth and everyone does grow at a different pace. My advice to anyone in early recovery is to wait at least 2 years before making any major life-changing decisions that might have emotional ramifications. An example: get a mortgage, get married, change career, emigrate. In light of this everyone has dreams and we all do want to better our lives in one way or another, so it is important in early recovery to start to put those dreams into reality by creating achievable goals which can be reached in time. I found in my early recovery, although I had dreams, I wasn’t aware of creating goals and my life unfolded by default. It turned out well for me but had I had clear goals, I do feel that it would have been even better.

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth-seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through online marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want to change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7-day video series to watch.

 

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“Recovery in Aftercare”

 

dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

aftercare
ˈɑːftəkɛː/
noun

1.care of a patient after a stay in hospital or of a person on release from prison.
2.support or advice offered to a customer following the purchase of a product or service.

Hi, it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Continue reading ““Recovery in Aftercare””

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“Turn Negative to Positive”

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dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

positivity
pɒzɪˈtɪvɪti/
noun
 
1.the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.” pupils draw power from the positivity of their teachers”

Hi, it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Continue reading ““Turn Negative to Positive””

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Pursuit of Happiness in Recovery

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dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

happiness

ˈhapɪnəs/
noun
the state of being happy.”she struggled to find happiness in her life”
synonyms:contentment, pleasure, contentedness, satisfaction, cheerfulness, cheeriness, merriment, merriness, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joyousness, joviality, jollity, jolliness, glee, blitheness, carefreeness, gladness, delight, good spirits, high spirits, light-heartedness, good cheer, well-being, enjoyment, felicity;

Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Continue reading “Pursuit of Happiness in Recovery”

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“Poor Me’s” in Recovery

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“Poor Me’s” in Recovery

Poor Me’s ; Manipulators often play the victim role (“poor me”) by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone.
Victim playing – Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_playing

Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Continue reading ““Poor Me’s” in Recovery”

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“Motivation in Recovery”-The 6 Stages of Change

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dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

motivation
məʊtɪˈveɪʃ(ə)n/
noun

1.
a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.
“escape can be a strong motivation for travel”
synonyms:
motive, motivating force, incentive, stimulus, stimulation, inspiration, impulse, inducement, incitement, spur, goad, provocation;

Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Continue reading ““Motivation in Recovery”-The 6 Stages of Change”

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“Letting it Go” in recovery

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dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

“Letting it Go” in recovery;

to stop thinking about or being angry about the past or something that happened in the past:

She finds it hard to let go of a grudge. You need to let the past go and forgive those who have hurt you.

Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:

Continue reading ““Letting it Go” in recovery”

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Hope In Recovery

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dictionary definition - addiction
Addiction dictionary definition

hope
həʊp/
noun
1.
a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.
“he looked through her belongings in the hope of coming across some information”
synonyms:
aspiration, desire, wish, expectation, ambition, aim, plan, dream, daydream, pipe dream; More
verb
1.
want something to happen or be the case.
“he’s hoping for an offer of compensation”
synonyms:
expect, anticipate, look for, wait for, be hopeful of, pin one’s hopes on,

Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series”, If not read on:

Continue reading “Hope In Recovery”

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