1.the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.” pupils draw power from the positivity of their teachers”
Hi, it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series“, If not read on:
“Turn Negative to Positive”
•I AM STRONG
•Because I know my weaknesses.
•I AM beautiful
•Because I am aware of my flaws.
•I AM FEARLESS
•Because I learned to recognize the illusion from reality.
•I AM WISE
•Because I learn from my mistakes.
•I AM LOVE
•Because I have felt hate.
•I CAN LAUGH
•Because I have Known sadness.
When I was in active addiction, my outlook on life was extremely negative. I could not see a positive in any situation, thus I continued with the instant gratification of feeding my addiction daily and then justifying it as being okay to do so. Numb the pain.
My life wasn’t working and it was everything and everyone else’s fault and I could do nothing about it.
Positive 2When I was catapulted into recovery, how my outlook did begin to change. I suddenly came to the realization that it was up to ME to make the necessary changes in my life, not anyone else and everything and everyone wasn’t my enemies, but could, if I allowed it, be my friends.
My pain which was created by my mostly negative outlook suddenly became my teacher. I began to learn from my negativity, in fact, it was a bigger teacher than the positive things in my life. The reason for this is that we as people tend to try to avoid pain (negativity) and attract pleasure (positivity).
On a scale of 1 to 10 my pain was at 10, much higher than my pleasure which was at 3. Avoiding pain was a much larger motivation for me than seeking pleasure. Yes, I was still running away from.. but at least now I was running in the right direction.
This process enabled, with the wise words and advice of many, me to start looking at the opposite of negative – the positive. Everything in life has a direct opposite, which does make things a lot simpler to do. If I’m feeling bad, I recognize it and then focus on something that makes me feel good. Some say this is a form of denial as I’m not working through what made me feel bad. I disagree as every problem has a solution of some sorts and if it is beyond my control then at least I have the choice to let it go.
So in simple terms, if we can use all our negative experiences as a learning in life then that, in turn, is a positive, especially if we DO learn from it. My dark days of addiction are a great learning or positive for me now as I know I definitely do not want to go back down that road again. This knowledge, as I said before, helps to keep me sober. I am actually grateful to be an alcoholic for 2 reasons: 1. I know what was wrong with me & 2. It made me a more humble & appreciative person.
My Next Blog is Powerlessness
The articles in “Recovery from Addiction” Series, are the opinion of the author and if you would like to contribute to it, please leave a comment in the comment box below. If you want to subscribe, for free, to any further blogs of mine please leave your email in the blue box below.
Recovery is about growth and everyone does grow at a different pace. My advice to anyone in early recovery is to wait at least 2 years before making any major life-changing decisions that might have emotional ramifications. An example: get a mortgage, get married, change career, emigrate. In light of this everyone has dreams and we all do want to better our lives in one way or another, so it is important in early recovery to start to put those dreams into reality by creating achievable goals which can be reached in time. I found in my early recovery, although I had dreams, I wasn’t aware of creating goals and my life unfolded by default. It turned out well for me but had I had clear goals, I do feel that it would have been even better.
I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth-seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through online marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want to change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7-day video series to watch.