Hi it’s Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a “Recovery from Addiction Series”, If not read on:
Character Defects How many do you have?
Character Defects are negative ways we think, feel and behave. Whenever I talk about character defects, the first reaction I get is “There is nothing wrong with me!!”, “How dare you, I’m not broken!!!“. Really everyone has character defects or flaws both in and not in addiction and most people function well enough with them, but do you want them?
People in recovery from addiction, though cannot afford to harbor character defects as they can be huge relapse triggers. It is up to each individual to identify which defects are the most risk to them. Mine where negative thinking, paranoia, self-condemnation, guilt, procrastination, judgment and low self-esteem.
To this day I still suffer from these and other character defects, but I am aware of them, thus they are not as intense as they used to be. This has not just happened by osmosis, I have had to put in a hell of a lot of self-development, self-awareness & self-acceptance. I’m nearly 15 years sober and am only really scratching the surface of who I am and I will probably go to the grave, still with questions. We all will.
I continue to harbor character defects but I accept this and am comfortable with it as I know that I am on a journey, every minute of every day.
There are loads of character defects and if you Google character flaws or defects, you will find a huge array of apps and sites that cover this. I am not going to cover each defect individually, as I will cover them in my “Recovery from Addiction Series”
Here are the defects of character from Alcoholics Anonymous.
Lying, Evasiveness, Dishonesty
False pride, Phoniness, Denial
Criticizing, Loose Talk, Gossip
With this awareness and acceptance of my character defects, I do not have to fear them anymore. This has given me great freedom to grow in life. I have taken on a second career online, which is a challenge for me, but I will persevere and as I do, I feel stronger and happier for doing it.
My next article is on Irrational Beliefs, stay tuned.
The articles in “Recovery from Addiction” Series, are the opinion of the author and if you would like to contribute to it, please leave a comment in the comment box below. If you want to subscribe, for free, to any further blogs of mine please leave your email in the blue box below.
Recovery is about growth and everyone does grow at a different pace. My advice to anyone in early recovery is to wait at least 2 years before making any major life-changing decisions that might have emotional ramifications. An example: get a mortgage, get married, change career, emigrate. In light of this everyone has dreams and we all do want to better our lives in one way or another, so it is important in early recovery to start to put those dreams into reality by creating achievable goals which can be reached in time. I found in my early recovery, although I had dreams, I wasn’t aware of creating goals and my life unfolded by default. It turned out well for me, but had I had clear goals, I do feel that it would have been even better.
I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through on line marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want to change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7 day video series to watch.